Breathe - Repost

On a cold, blustery day like this one, I like to remember the better days of winter...  

We nestle in white powder snow beneath grey afternoon clouds. I watch her scoop snow into her plastic shovel and dump it into a Tonka truck. My eyes grow heavy as I watch him push a yellow metal loader through snow piles. My shoulders sag beneath invisible weight. My little ones play, unaware it is nap time. I lay on the snow, close my eyes. Loader wheels squeak. Swish-a-swash Swish-a-swash. Snow pants rub as she walks. Snow sprays on my forehead as boots approach and she shovels snow onto my legs. "I'm covering you, mommy!" She laughs. 

The fresh air is cool and moves. It wafts towards my cheeks, then away. It tenderly floats across my nose. A smile crosses my face. Only now do I realize that out here, beneath clouds, I can feel air. In my house, our manufactured temperature lacks the fresh movement only God can create. He didn't just give us oxygen - he made it move. It touches me. It caresses my face, entices my nose with endless scents and, a strong wind even wraps its arms around me.

My son lays silent beside me, inches from my face. I open my eyes and we gaze at each other, smiling. His blue eyes dance with joy. This moment, God is here smiling with us. We're rich and blessed to share this - to lay on soft snow and breathe.

Delightful Details

Cooped up indoors for months, we four raced outside one melty Sunday. The kids scramble for the hill slide shouting ‘Daddy, watch me!’ I headed straight to the half finished snow fort to add another layer to its walls. Daddy watched as his smiley darlings slipped down the hill. I listened to their giggles and conversation while busily pushing snow balls into boulders. After a while, the children wandered off. The only sound was the distant swishing of snowsuits and the soft crunch of my growing snow boulder. I looked up to notice my husband leaning against his truck, watching me with folded arms and a wide grin. I must have been a sight; a grown woman crawling around huffing and pushing, focused intently on building a snowball. I giggled.

“Wanna join me?”

“Not really.” He smiled.

“Want to lay together and watch the sky?”

“Where?”

We walked over to a soft snow bank, plunked ourselves in and reclined. Our little ones noticed and ran to join us. Cool air wafted against our cheeks as cotton clouds drifted across a crisp blue sky.

I love how marriage can mirror God’s love. The more I get to know God, the more I realize he loves me like that – he delights in me, even when I look silly. (or even because of it) He laughs, giggles and plays with me. He sits with me, enjoys things with me. God made joy!

“The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives.”
Psalm 37:23

“For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty Saviour.
   He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears.
      He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.”

Zephaniah 3:17

My husband standing with folded arms just enjoying whatever I looked like – that spoke of God’s love to me. I imagine that, when I’m doing life – parenting, pulling my hair out, hiding a bowl of chips, or even when I’m doing a secret happy dance – God is smiling at me. He loves my antics, and loves the way He made me.

God has been opening my eyes to His grace and love these last couple of years, and it changes me completely! I am new because of His mercy. God isn’t the distant dictator I once labelled him – He’s my loving father, tender husband, best friend and brother. I can pose any question, (Luke 11:10) request help with anything - even with how to talk to him! (Romans 8:26)

Because I’m getting that He loves me, I can trust God – and that impacts everything!  If I can really believe that God adores me, gets a kick out of me and wants the very best for me … I want to please Him and know Him more. This love and grace drives me to do his will – I’m desperate for it!

Thank you Lord, for initiating our relationship. Thank you for pursuing me and delighting in me. I am overwhelmed! I am moved. Your love is crazy and I don’t think I’ll ever understand it all – I almost crumble with the little understanding I have! Abundance is right! And there’s always more. Amazing. Thank you that you are good and I can trust you completely. Oh! What a relief! What peace and joy. I can hardly think of it without crying! Woo! I love you so much and can’t wait to love you more. Thank you for changing this heart every day, for moving me. Thank you for your tenderness. There aren’t enough words. I can’t wait to be with you forever.

.

It Was Ears

She hunches over her paper cup of sugared coffee. “You know, you’ve been different this last year.” I smirk, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. A while back I asked someone, ‘What’s the deal? Did she get religion?’ They said you go to church...” Chin in hands, she stares out at the bustling parking lot. “…you know, if that’s what going to church is about, then I want to go to a whole lot of church.”

I wish I could describe the joy of this moment. Much aching, prayer and waiting preceded it. We never discussed faith and especially not Jesus. She’s well acquainted with the hypocrisy, pride and legalism that calls itself ‘Christian’. What could I say? Who would witness Jesus’ love to this woman? I desperately sought God for her – that He would reach her … somehow.

Recently I read a great line: ‘Our life is the only Bible some people will read.’

I doubt I would have counted this woman as someone I’m ‘witnessing’ to. We just have a relationship. It appears that everything I do is a witness. Whether I visit people in hospital, serve in Sunday school, or generously tip in a restaurant, I am witnessing.

It sure opens my eyes to the importance of Colossians 3:23: “Whatever you do, do it as to the Lord and not to men.” If I’m a grumpy customer and cheap tipper, that’s my Christian witness. If I call people idiots and talk about others all the time, that’s my Christian witness. But if I do everything ‘as to the Lord’, His light will shine through even the smallest action.

A friend asked, “What drew you to Christ?” What a powerful question! I know what it wasn’t – I was not drawn to Christ by someone telling me I was in sin and bound for hell. It was not a requirement to be better.

It was acceptance of me exactly the way I was.

It was eye contact with a genuine smile.

It was ears.

What about you? What drew you to Christ?

Giving When It Hurts

“That’s it. I’m done!” I complained silently, pacing. I had lost count of how many times he’d gone back on a promise to pay me what he owed. “This is theft! Lies! And then try and manipulate me about it yet?! That’s it! I’m done!”

Before bringing down the hammer on his delinquent account, I thought I’d better check with God. I had dedicated this account to Him after all, and wanted to handle it His way. “God, you know what’s happened. He hasn’t paid – again! I’m so angry right now. What should I do?” 

Read the rest here at Amy Sullivan's site...

Thank you  Amy, for helping me share my story! 

How To Love People Who Offend You

 Oh, how quickly I forget!  As I notice anger, frustration, judgment and criticism surfacing again I see I have forgotten to apply a truth I learned. So forgetful.... so, please bear with me as I repeat this for my own benefit and, I trust, yours too. We can all use reminders.

When trying to love someone who’s offended you …

1.       Remember God made them. They have a divine purpose. God loves them just as much as he loves you. To judge, hate or criticize them is to judge God’s law. (James 4:11)

2.    Remember what a screw-up you were. Isn’t it tearfully wonderful to know that even when you were a disgusting mess, God loved you anyway? He died for us while we were in our sin! You’ve been a screw-up. You probably still are in a lot of ways.  Others are allowed to be a screw up too. We all need grace.

3.  Remember how much you’ve been forgiven. It’s no fun to remember my sin, and I don’t dwell on it. But when I remember how much has been forgiven, there is suddenly more grace and forgiveness to pass on to others. The more you’ve been forgiven, the more you’ll be able to love. (Luke 7:47)

4.  “Do it until!” Love is a decision - an action, not a feeling. Choose to act in love toward that person. Bring them a coffee. Invite them along with your friends even if it’s the last thing you ‘feel’ like doing. Listen to them. Validate their feelings. Make eye contact. Smile. Try to identify with them. Or, if you’re really angry, the biggest act of love may just be keeping your mouth closed. These small acts of love are decisions. You’re doing this for God, not the person who offends you. Check out this awesome message on building character! (Building Character, June 5,2010) (favorite line = 'You can't just sit in the gym and have muscles happen, it's work!')

5.   Remember that God uses all things for his purposes – even annoying or offensive people. “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Romans 8:28 He will refine you through this experience. Is it fun? NO! “No discipline is enjoyable while it’s happening, it is painful! But afterward, there will be a quiet harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.” Hebrews 12;11 For that, we can be grateful.

How often, as you consider those who irritate you, have you thought "Well, at least I'm not as proud and judgmental as they are!" Oops. That is pride and judgment. How can we break free of finger pointing and hypocrisy? 

I think the answer is, again, something I've written before and need to be reminded of. 

1)      Pray.

a.       Confess selfishness and judgment. 

b.      Thank God for forgiving our sins (“But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins” 1 John 1:9) Thank Him for the opportunity to learn and for continuing to work in us until the day of his return.

c.       Praise God for His awesome mercy, wondrous works and for His love and wisdom.

2)      Read. Crack open that bible and read – even if you don’t know where to start, or don’t understand a thing you’re reading. Satan is standing right beside you, trying to get you to stop. The phone may ring, you’ll have doubts, you’ll suddenly remember some important thing you need to do right away … Don’t let him deter you! Read that bible, honey. God will speak to you through his word. Seek Him, and you will find.

3)      Continue.  Even when you don’t feel the ‘need’, even when you don’t ‘have time’. Yes, even when you think you’re ‘good enough’ – especially then – keep reading and praying! The devil is a lion prowling for people to devour.  

I remember having victory in this before. Why it's so difficult to repeat now I have no idea. But, I thank God for this opportunity and 'count it joy' that I may be trained in this way. This is how I will grow character, grow in relationship with Jesus, and others will see His light in me.  This will be neither fun nor easy I expect, but here we go - dependence on God for everything, even my thoughts.

Lord, forgive me for my self-righteousness. I am nothing. I am sinful, yet you love me. You give me grace and mercy even though I deserve punishment. Thank you for your forgiveness and grace. Lord, you've made these people in your image. You've not asked for my opinion of them. You alone are judge. Lord, help me see them with your eyes and heart. Help me choose to love them. Fill me with your love for them, and the wisdom to know how to act on that. Thank you Jesus, for continuing to train me. I praise you for the good work you are doing in my heart. Amen.