What Does God Think About Global Crises?

Confession: I don't claim to know all that God thinks.  
(and we should all be wary of those who do)

"My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the LORD.

"And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.

For just as the heavens are higher than the earth,

so my ways are higher than your ways

and my thoughts higher than your thoughts."

Isaiah 55:8-10

But sometimes I sure wonder what on earth He thinks about the injustices and atrocities that surround  us. Evil seems to grow powerful and pervasive, and sometimes it makes me desperate and cry out,

God! What do YOU think about this!?

And what should I DO?!

Recently I have been learning about the various industries and their powerful influence over nations and the world as a whole. One evening, after watching a documentary (Blue Gold: World Water Wars) I became especially bothered by the injustice of powerful industry essentially exploiting and killing the poorest of the poor - the 'least of these', and profiting greatly from their oppression.

I could think of little else. I washed dishes and shook my head. I cleared the table, wondering what God is up to. I tucked in the children, wondering what my responsibility is in such a huge problem.

The next morning I opened the Word to continue reading in Psalms. "Lord, help me know what to do" I pleaded, and then began to read Psalm 37.

Know what the first words were that I read that morning?

"Don't worry about the wicked

or envy those who do wrong."

Lips parted in surprise. I was about to hear from Him on the subject. 

"Be still in the presence of the LORD

and wait patiently for Him to act.

Don't worry about evil people who prosper

or fret about their wicked schemes."

His Word is so alive and active, isn't it?  At this point, I found myself secretly saying something like, "Yeah but... yeah but... what do I DO?? Just sit here and trust you and do not act? Doesn't that make me a culprit too?"

And He repeats about twelve times in different ways, "Trust me".
The stanzas echo in deafening volume the promise given to God's people in Deuteronomy 32:34

"I will take revenge; I will pay them back.

In due time their feet will slip.

their day of disaster will arrive,

and their destiny will overtake them.'

(Side note: You may point out that this passage speaks of the punishment that befalls God's own people when they turn away from Him. But God also addresses His justice on His enemies at the end of the song:)

"For He will avenge the blood of His servants;

He will take revenge against His enemies.

He will repay those who hate him

and cleanse the land for His people." 

What God thinks of those who oppress the poor and steal and murder and profit from their misdeeds is clear. He will not tolerate it forever.

In the meantime, He uses these injustices (and I do not presume this to be the only reason!) to purify His bride. It's funny - Christians are widely trained to believe that Jesus came to bring peace and comfort and heaven on earth. And we work feverishly to insulate ourselves from trouble, and complain when hardship dares to afflict us. US! The children of a Holy God! Gasp!
Yet Jesus never EVER said we will live in utopia until He comes. Quite the opposite. 

"Do you think I have come to bring peace to earth? 

No, I have come to divide people against each other!" 

Luke 12:51

(How does that sit with your picture of Jesus by the way?) 
Why does He say this? Brother Lawrence understood well that one must trust God in all things. He knew "God could remedy any mischief, although sometimes He permitted evil for reasons very true and useful in the order of His Providence." (p.18, The Practice of the Presence of God)

And I see the benefit of suffering in my own life too. Repeatedly. 
Even now, as I am torn over evil done to others near and far, the Lord challenges me to trust Him: rely on Him and wait patiently for Him to act. This is difficult. It feels lazy and even wrong to just sit and pray.

But this is the working out of salvation; trusting Him beyond understanding. Belief.

"Jesus told them, "This is the only work God wants from you: 

Believe in the One He has sent."

John 6:29

Whatever your struggle, I encourage you as the Lord encouraged me: trust Him and wait patiently for Him to act. He is good and able and He. Will. Do it.

Mulling…

Something about it sticks like honey – dripping mystery-sweet.

“The rich man had to admire the dishonest rascal for being so shrewd. And it is true that the children of this world are more shrewd in dealing with the world around them than are the children of the light. Here’s the lesson: Use your worldly resources to benefit others and make friends. Then, when your earthly possessions are gone, they will welcome you to an eternal home.” (Luke 16:8-10 – parable of the shrewd manager)

At first, I’m bothered by the apparent instruction to gain friends for my own comfort. ‘Is Jesus telling me to give for selfish reasons? What else could it mean? Lord, open my eyes!’

…Maybe the point is not that these friends are there to welcome me, but simply that they are there; that their presence in that eternal home is impacted by my use of worldly resources.

The honey mystery drips … possibility … opportunity …  Maybe this passage is an answer to the pleas I’ve sung. “For our inheritance give us the lost”. [1] How many times have I asked to be used to bring people to Christ? … and asked what I can do?

Sweet honey answers thrill my mouth to a grin as I recall how I was won. How anyone is... He loved us so much… that he gave. [2] 

I feel like the person who found treasure, buried it in a field, and sold everything he had to buy that field. 
… could it be? Could everything I have be a resource to love people into heaven?

The sweet flows thick…

How can I invest my time ‘to benefit others’? Abilities? Possessions?

Scripture flashes through my mind faster than I can pause to think about

‘store up treasure in heaven’

‘you are the crown I receive for my work’

‘make use of every opportunity…’

‘… hold back those staggering toward destruction…’

‘sell everything, give to the poor, then you will have treasure in heaven…’

‘pure and genuine religion… is caring for orphans and widows in distress…’

‘love others as I loved you…’

How did He love?

What do I have that is mine to keep?

Can I really exchange any temporary things for eternal treasures?

How fitting that the next thing Jesus warns against is the love of money; serving two masters.
How frightening that the story after that is one of a man who refused to share what he had with the poor beggar at his door and ended up in eternal torment...

What does it say about the state of my heart if I decide not to share my resources?

A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, 

and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. 

Matthew 12:35

As a face is reflected in water, so the heart reflects the real person. 

Proverbs 27:19

“This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command.” 

John 15: 12-14

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[1] “Show Your Power” by Kevin Prosch

[2] John 3:16

Prayers Answered ... With Suffering

I close the magazine, unable to read another word about lynchings and tortures meted out to believers across the world. I sip steamy coffee, wondering how long Christian prisoners have been without food and drink. I watch Maple leaves flutter in sunlight. Have those prisoners seen daylight this week? I sip sweet coffee and shed no tears. I imagine Jesus spitting out lukewarm water...   "Lord, forgive me for my indifference. Break my heart for what breaks yours. Stamp eternity in both my eyes...Give me a heart for others." 

For a year or two I've made these pleas. I'm beginning to recognize God's response...

Awareness of Suffering

The more I cry out to have a heart for others, the more darkness I see. Abroad, the faithful are gruesomely tortured and routinely abused or neglected. Here at home, all kinds of sin, illness and spiritual defeat keep many (including me) self-focused, distracted from God's purpose, and defeated.

Our enemy is stronger than all of us. This place wreaks of death, and evil seems to pervade every thing and place. It looks hopeless.

This growing awareness of the evil of this world alerts me to the desperate, immediate need for God. I am increasingly thankful for salvation, the more darkness I see. I am also intensely motivated to share this knowledge - this freedom - with 'whoever has ears'.

The work of God is that this heart is breaking. I am increasingly disturbed by the number of people dying without Christ. This travesty, at times, chokes me with grief.

It seems that joy and sorrow are inseparable somehow - how could we know one without the other? And, it seems, the more sorrow I experience, the deeper joy I may also have. In the poetic words of Khalil Gibran,

"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.

Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?

And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?" 

(see whole piece here) 


I am thankful for and celebrate this grief as evidence of a changing heart - one moving from indifference to passion. God is carving out apathy to make room for His amazing love!

(I just realized this moment, that the joy I can contain as a result is also an answer to my plea to walk in joy...)

The Experience of Suffering


Compared to many, I have not suffered. I don't dismiss the rejection, isolation and slavery to fear that I did experience, but it has not been a life of hardship either. Comforts have always been at my fingertips, and I've never lost a close loved one to death. Life - and faith - have been more-or-less comfortable - until this last year.

Contemplation of some big faith questions began last summer. These bothersome issues bubbled vaguely beyond the reach of conscious thought. ... perhaps because they seemed unanswerable. Then, in fall, things started to fall apart. Each situation swirled in its own stew of frustrations and heartbreak. In this chaos, those ugly questions suddenly demanded answers. (Read about that wrestling here.)

But here's the awesome work God is doing:

- My faith is being / has been tested. I sense a strength rising now as I find my footing in Truth. I'm getting well acquainted with the foundations of my faith - it is built on solid rock. Numerous verses come to mind that make more sense in this storm.  'a house built on solid bedrock....' (Matthew 7:25), 'The Lord is a shelter in times of trouble' (Psalm 9:9) 'when trouble comes your way, consider it... joy' (James 1:2)

- I'm free to love those who wrestle and fall away; for those who ask these difficult questions and conclude that belief in God is foolishness. I've tended to avoid those who don't believe, because I didn't understand how they could choose that. I was also fearful of falling into that same sin. (Gal 6:1)
  Now, standing at the edge of that same choice - wrestling with those same questions - I empathize. I am not afraid. My faith has been shaken and stands because it is built on a solid foundation that no man can shake.   Instead of running away, I'm drawn to them. I'm free to love them because I know I am loved and safe.

- I have more compassion for those who suffer. Without experiencing pain, we tend to judge those who hurt. The poor judge the rich, and the rich look down on the poor. Unless we walk in some different shoes for awhile, we can't empathize. Suddenly I have more of an ear for people who walk the road of cancer, who are discouraged or wrestling with their faith.

-God is glorified - even by my tested faith! As I struggle and work this out, people read, hear and see it happen. They see God's hand in it. Even yesterday I participated in a conversation I could have never had before. Instead of being enraged and indignant that an Atheist would call my God deplorable names, I felt for him. I was free to have a dialogue which was not heated or defensive (though it could easily go there), and I know God used that - for the Atheist and the many who heard the conversation. God will accomplish His will with everything that happens. (Isaiah 55:11) Even - and perhaps especially - our suffering. That is unspeakable joyful!

Today I count this pain as joy. Not because it's fun, but because I'm being shaped in the image of my Heavenly Father. I'm being trained in perhaps the most effective way.

Is God Good?

Often I've imagined the Christian life to look a little like ... someone twirling on top of a hill singing 'The hiiiiillls are aliiiiive... with the sound of muuusic...'


I think not.


To 'love God and love your neighbor as yourself' sounds easy if you say it fast...


But to love others is done in the midst of confusion and pain ... it is not a dance on a hill. Immeasurable by degrees of comfort or even happiness, Godly love is grueling work.


How could it be less? Living God's love is


Believing beyond logic
Serving when I'm tired
Giving when its costly
loving our enemies

Who chooses this?!

'Love God and love others' is especially hard to understand as I perceive more and more the suffering in this dark world. This place is steeped in the kind of evil that skins people alive, buys and sells women and children, and abuses their families behind closed doors. This world is full of poverty illness, starvation, jealousy, pride, heartache and tears.  ... what is there to love?


It is here, in the middle of frustration and heartache I'm paused to decide - do I believe God is good? With all this suffering and evil ... is this a contradiction?


Regarding the necessity of suffering, CS Lewis states (in The Problem of Pain),


"Try to exclude the possibility of suffering which the order of nature and the existence of free-wills involve, and you will find that you have excluded life itself". 


This video illustrates well the issue of suffering and goodness co-existing:

I believe God is good - not just because the Bible tells me so, but because I've seen His hand in my life. I've experienced a small piece of who He is. Yes, God is good when He gives me the blessings I want (kindness), but in my suffering He is also good. 


Examples from my life: 

Rejection served to protect me from things and people that would have dragged me away from God. It also served to soften my heart towards others who are rejected. It also opened my heart to receive God's acceptance. 

Being imprisoned by fear allowed me to see life is fearful when not submitted to the loving hand of my Father. It allowed me to come to Him for comfort - to be freed. It also, again, gave me compassion for those who are slaves to fear.

Christian life is not a dance on a hill. It is training. 

Suffering = training

"But God’s discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness. 

No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be 

a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way."

Hebrews 12:10

I'm beginning to understand James' words: 

"Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow! When your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete needing nothing." 

And, to close I would like to share CS Lewis' insight about how everything under heaven DOES serve God's purpose whether it is through good or evil.

"A merciful man aims at his neighbour's good as so does 'God's' will, consciously co-operating with 'the simple good'. A cruel man oppresses his neighbour and so does simple evil. But in doing such evil he is used by God, without his knowledge or consent, to produce the complex good — so that the first man serves God as a son, and the second as a tool. For you will certainly carry out God's purpose, however you act, but it makes a difference to you whether you serve like Judas or like John"

May I serve as a true disciple, one who is trained for holiness. 

May I view all suffering as an opportunity for God's power to be displayed. 

May I realize my own bent toward evil. 

May I repent and rely always on my Father to forgive me, cleanse me, and train me to live with Him forever.

Thank you Jesus, for loving me so much that you would teach and use me even if it means I must suffer.

Thank you for suffering for and with me. 

I praise your Good name! 

You    Are   Good.

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What Does It Look Like to Live Love?

What does it look like to live a life of love - to live so God's presence and glory are evident in my heart? 

It could take an eternity to discover the complete answer to that question, but here's some of what scripture says about it.

Care about the rights of the poor.    (Proverbs 29:7)

Take care of widows who don't have anyone else. (1 Timothy 5:3)

Give according to what you have (2 Corinthians 8:12)

Do to others what you would have them do to you 

Give to anyone who asks

Love your enemies; do good to those who hate you (Luke 6:27-35)

Help the poor (Proverbs 14:31)

Share each others burdens (Galatians 6:2)

Feed my sheep (John 21:17) 

... It's the last one that got me the most, because it was spoken to my heart this week. 

I've asked countless times, "Lord, what should I DO?!?" This time I hesitated to ask, afraid of His answer.  I thought I'd been sincere until now, but this time I earnestly wanted to do anything He asked.  Through tears and with trembling, I asked again.  

'Feed my sheep' 

I knew that neither my flesh nor the Enemy would give me such an instruction.

I also knew that God is intimately acquainted with all my weakness and faults and inability, so didn't argue. (for once)

"Who are your sheep Lord?"

'Believers scattered abroad' (James 1:1)

'How?' 

I felt as though the time for that answer was not now, but would come in His time. 

Then this morning I read John 21:17, 

"A third time he asked him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”
   Peter was hurt that Jesus asked the question a third time. He said, “Lord, you know everything. You know that I love you.”
   Jesus said, “Then feed my sheep.""

and Ezekial 34:1-10

"Then this message came to me from the Lord: 2 “Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds, the leaders of Israel. Give them this message from the Sovereign Lord: What sorrow awaits you shepherds who feed yourselves instead of your flocks. Shouldn’t shepherds feed their sheep? ³ You drink the milk, wear the wool, and butcher the best animals, but you let your flocks starve. ⁴ You have not taken care of the weak. You have not tended the sick or bound up the injured. You have not gone looking for those who have wandered away and are lost. Instead, you have ruled them with harshness and cruelty. ⁵ So my sheep have been scattered without a shepherd, and they are easy prey for any wild animal. ⁶ They have wandered through all the mountains and all the hills, across the face of the earth, yet no one has gone to search for them. ⁷ “Therefore, you shepherds, hear the word of the Lord: ⁸ As surely as I live, says the Sovereign Lord, you abandoned my flock and left them to be attacked by every wild animal. And though you were my shepherds, you didn’t search for my sheep when they were lost. You took care of yourselves and left the sheep to starve. ⁹Therefore, you shepherds, hear the word of the Lord. ¹⁰ This is what the Sovereign Lord says: I now consider these shepherds my enemies, and I will hold them responsible for what has happened to my flock. I will take away their right to feed the flock, and I will stop them from feeding themselves. I will rescue my flock from their mouths; the sheep will no longer be their prey."

I'm not sure what it all means, but I believe it's all connected. I believe it's also of great and eternal importance to obey God without hesitation. (I also believe that each of these instructions applies globally and locally; not one rather than the other, but both.)

Lord, thank you for speaking to my heart. Please make clear to me who, when and what to feed. ... and how. Please have patience with me. I don't want to become a fat sheep at the expense of the scrawny. Forgive me for my selfishness and greed. Help me to give and love others the way you would - the way you do. Teach me how to feed others and to deny myself for their sake. Give me a heart overflowing with your love. Thank you Jesus, that you love your sheep and search for them where they've scattered. 

Lord, I'm afraid - of the pain of separation from worldly desires. I'm not excited about it and resist it. But you say it is better to lose one part of my body than for the whole thing to be thrown into hell. Lord, I would rather suffer the pain of your training than the pain of your judgment, but I'm scared anyway. Your love is perfect, and I trust you. I will obey. 

Defying Soul Gravity - Part Two

Okay... I couldn't wait until tomorrow. Here's 'tomorrow's' post:


I shared yesterday how God spoke to my heart about doing 'good works'. Here's the rest best of the story:

Considering where to shine the blazing light of Christ, I began to stumble. Between earthquakes and mass starvation, child abuse, international sex trading and even local homelessness, the darkness is no match for my one little light. Gravity quickly gripped and dragged me back into gloom … and inaction.

This morning, I have the house to myself. I nestle into a camping chair outside in the fog, clutching my mug of hot coffee and spend this time with God. Birds trill and twitter, a misty rain gently touches ditch water… and then it happens; that glorious moment when God shows me something.

He draws my attention the old Willows, some leaning precariously toward the ground, others reaching for the sky. The trunks that bend toward the ground provide cover for birds, amusement for climbing, and a great place for a tire swing … for now. As gravity continues to pull on it though, it will eventually fall down.

The trunks that grow straight, seeming to reach toward heaven, are strong now and will remain strong. Gravity will not win these trees as long as they point skyward.

Then, as He does, He brought scripture to mind.

“…Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength!”

Nehemiah 8:10

If I'm bent toward thoughts of this world’s misery, it pulls and weighs.  If I ‘fix my thoughts on what is good’ though, (Phil 4:8) remembering what God has done, I will be filled with praise and joy – and will be strengthened.

You thrill me, Lord, with all you have done for me!

I sing for joy because of what you have done.

Psalm 92:4

I love that – ‘you THRILL me Lord’? Wow. I want that. I don’t want to wonder anymore if I’m allowed to be joyful in a world full of pain. I want to be thrilled in the presence of my God! He is great. He is good, and He wins.

Let the joy of the Lord be my strength!

Defying Soul Gravity - Part One

Cruising down the highway, I silently ask God about the boredom and discouragement that has weighed on me for weeks. Nothing in life seems desirable or interesting. I feel trapped in numbness, but want to scream – for freedom maybe. ‘What is it God? What?!’  Suddenly, seemingly unrelated scripture pops into my head. ‘Faith without works is dead’. (James 2:26)  ‘Uh… okay… so my faith is suffocating?’  

Oddly, and perhaps this is from my Mennonite background, my knee-jerk response is to instantly defend inaction as though to ‘do good works’ were prideful or unnecessary. Weird! It’s biblical; necessary, obedient, and a natural outflow of gratitude and love.

“Tell them to use their money to do good. They should be rich in good works and generous to those in need, always being ready to share with others.”

1 Timothy 6:18

I agree with God that there is good for me to do, and suddenly feel a sense of meaning and purpose – freedom from the relentless unfeeling that had gripped me. ‘God can use me! Thank you Lord! …now what do you have for me to do?’


Stay tuned for the rest of the story tomorrow... (you'll really like the second part!)

Life and Death (repost)

A repost. (edited)

I pull the covers across my face, hiding from the dark. ‘What was that sound? Did I hear footsteps?’  Branches scratch the window. I peek. A shadow moves and, though alone, I sense… a presence. Trembling, I pray for protection and, after awhile, drift into sleep … and nightmares.

That was my life before Christ. Death lurked around each corner – car crash, choke on a burger, get cancer or hit by random flying debris … at any moment I could die.

Praise God, I’m free of that constant fear.

I do think on death often though. I’m not watching shadows, brooding or wringing my hands, but I don’t know how many days I have, so am I making the best of today? If I would die tomorrow, would I be pleased with how I invested today? The way I spoke to my kids and husband? The way I thought, prayed, acted?

Did I waste today?

Sound depressed or pessimistic? I hope not. I hope you see focus, motivation and purpose – that’s exactly what happens when I think about life, death and eternity.  Maybe that’s why Ecclesiastes says “A wise man thinks about death, but a fool only thinks about pleasure.”

To Think About Death Does a Few Things:

·   Humbles me – I can not continue to believe and act as though it’s all about me when it’s clear that I control neither my beginning nor end.

·   Aligns Priorities – If I die next week, what would quickly disappear from my list of things to do? Suddenly my time, words and energy begin to align with God’s priorities.

·   Eternity-Minded - My actions and choices have eternal impact. Suddenly everyone is an eternal being, not just an ‘annoying neighbor’ or a relative to ‘put up with’. Everyone walks toward eternity daily. Do I help or hinder their progress toward Jesus?

·   Motivates – If this is my last week with my children; what would I want them to know? I want to help guide them into an eternity with Jesus! I don’t know about you, but it sure lights a fire under me to do all I can right now!

No, I don’t get it right every day or even every week. I waste time and squirm from responsibility with the best of them. The more we seek God though, the more we live for Him.

“Break my heart for what breaks yours. All that I am for your kingdom’s cause As I walk this earth into Eternity.*” – Amen!

Some Helpful Verses:

“The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning,
       but the heart of fools is in the house of pleasure.”

Ecclesiastes 7:4 (NIV)

“It is better to go to a house of mourning 
than to go to a house of feasting,
       for death is the destiny of every man; 
the living should take this to heart.”

Ecclesiastes 7:2 (NIV)

“Rescue those being led away to death; 
hold back those staggering toward slaughter.”

Proverbs 24:11 (NIV)

* Lyrics from ‘Hosanna’ by Hillsong

You can also read this in the Sanctified Together online publication

From Worry to Peace in 3 Simple Steps

Planning a huge fundraising event was scaring me – especially since I would be on stage … you know – talking and stuff. Eek. Then I found out that someone I care about was about to become homeless. And then came the cancer call.  It’s a lot to deal with. … to worry about… to be immobilized by.

In this storm, I thank God for giving me the verse He did:

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace,

which exceeds anything we can understand.

His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 4:6,7

As I follow the prescription of this verse, the truth of it is revealed. It really is a step-by-step guide from worry to peace:

1.              Decide To Talk To God About It.

a.     It’s so easy to get carried away in thoughts, imagining what horrors await me in the future. It’s also easy to pretend it all doesn’t exist. Either way, I’m not talking to God when I worry. Just to decide to talk to Him is a huge start.

2.              Tell Him What You Need.

a.     Even if our conversation looks mostly like me shaking my head and saying “I don’t know. I just don’t know”, we’re talking. Before I know it, I’m spilling my heart to Him – how I feel, what I fear and hope for… everything.

3.              Thank Him For All He Has Done

a.     Ah, the key: shift in focus. As I take my eyes off of trouble and fix them on Him, I’m reminded that He is faithful and good and will continue to be. As I thank Him (praise) I am lifted up out of fear and despair. I can see light. (yet another thing to be thankful for!)

Then, as promised, peace comes. On a particularly ‘heavy’ day, the peace may only last a half hour before worry takes hold again. I may need to repeat it again and again … but it works. My focus is taken off of public speaking and cancer, and placed where it belongs. Ah … peace. And it’s not just for me: walking in peace lifts me up, and remobilizes me to reach out to others. I’m not much help as a discouraged lump, whimpering on the couch. But in the strength of peace I can encourage and build up others – just like I love to do. Woo! Thank you Lord! 

Ask Not If My Job Matters, But What My Job Is

I couldn't shake it - this feeling of ... uselessness.  Growing discouragement and circumstances contribute, sure. But I couldn't climb out from under it ... and I didn't know why.  (And you know how I need to understand the reason for things... )

What I didn't know was that a war waged in my subconscious, provoking questions like 'Do I matter?' 'Can I make a difference?'  Satan had done a fabulous job of convincing me that one teeny tiny person can not affect change. The world will end, many will suffer their whole lives, countless people will go to hell. (All true) Nothing I can do will change that. (True to a point)The Enemy even used the Bible to evidence the ultimate hopelessness of it all, then brought to mind overwhelming images and stories of death, destruction, and desperation. It was too much.

Overwhelmed, I curled up in an emotional ball and listened.

‘there’s nothing you can do’

     ‘God himself will not stop it – and you can?! Arrogant!’

            ‘no matter what you do, evil rules this world. God says so.’

                    ‘… besides – nobody wants to hear about Jesus anyway. God says so.’

This insidious twisting of God’s own word temporarily paralyzed me; because I chose to believe it. 

But it is lies. Woven ever so carefully with beads of truth, but ultimately...LIES!!

While this soul battle was going on, God was working things together. It took me time, but soon I heard His voice...

-My friend and mentor has gently (and repeatedly) reminded me (for months) to return my eyes to Jesus. I'll wrestle with something and she'll point out, ‘Yes, but then where’s your focus?’. That little question has echoed into eternity. Her normal, everyday friendship has changed me. It has also translated to growth in others – as I apply her question to a good friend of mine, her focus also shifts. Two lives changed (plus children... plus...)

-Simple kindnesses making an eternal difference. The cake auction for one, and even when I cleaned a friend's house – it demonstrated Christ’s love to the couple. I was just helping, but God was there too – speaking to their hearts. Two lives impacted – through the act of cleaning toilets.

-Gospel For Asia’s newsletter brims with stories of how one person makes a huge eternal difference when following God. They also credit sponsors for having a part in this important work. It matters. Even donating a few dollars has an eternal impact.

-a radio speaker comes on(unusual on the station I usually listen too – generally just music) and talks about the ‘butterfly effect’ being scientifically proven. That one small, innocuous act can affect change even across the globe. Wow. Everything we do –or don’t do - matters. Everything physical, and everything spiritual.

- then a song comes on which sings my heart – show me what to do Lord, speak to me! (I prayed along with the singer … and whaddayaknow? Days later I see Him working in all this!! Praise the Lord!)

Then this weekend (Sundays seem to be especially impactful days for me) I heard God loud and clear. The speaker shared horrific statistics and stories of human trafficking (3^rd largest industry in the world!) Women and children mostly, some for their literal body parts. Horrific. Choking back tears, she said, “I’m often asked, ‘do you ever get overwhelmed?’. Of course. All the time. But my job is not to save the world or to help everyone. I’m responsible for my little part.” With two fingers, she outlined a 2” square in the air.

My husband was away on a retreat and receiving a similar message that morning – that one person makes a difference. That we are responsible to do our part - it is eternally imperative that we do what we can to fight for justice, stand up for others, to practically demonstrate love to others.

I can not believe these lies anymore. What I do makes a difference. It counts.

Thank you Lord, for freeing me to live with purpose and meaning. Thank you that I have a part to play in eternity. Thank you Lord, for your living word which is full of promises and direction. Please show me what to do – who to love, and how.

“Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed.

Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows.”

Isaiah 1:17

 “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’”

Matthew 25:40

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Delightful Details

Cooped up indoors for months, we four raced outside one melty Sunday. The kids scramble for the hill slide shouting ‘Daddy, watch me!’ I headed straight to the half finished snow fort to add another layer to its walls. Daddy watched as his smiley darlings slipped down the hill. I listened to their giggles and conversation while busily pushing snow balls into boulders. After a while, the children wandered off. The only sound was the distant swishing of snowsuits and the soft crunch of my growing snow boulder. I looked up to notice my husband leaning against his truck, watching me with folded arms and a wide grin. I must have been a sight; a grown woman crawling around huffing and pushing, focused intently on building a snowball. I giggled.

“Wanna join me?”

“Not really.” He smiled.

“Want to lay together and watch the sky?”

“Where?”

We walked over to a soft snow bank, plunked ourselves in and reclined. Our little ones noticed and ran to join us. Cool air wafted against our cheeks as cotton clouds drifted across a crisp blue sky.

I love how marriage can mirror God’s love. The more I get to know God, the more I realize he loves me like that – he delights in me, even when I look silly. (or even because of it) He laughs, giggles and plays with me. He sits with me, enjoys things with me. God made joy!

“The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives.”
Psalm 37:23

“For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty Saviour.
   He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears.
      He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.”

Zephaniah 3:17

My husband standing with folded arms just enjoying whatever I looked like – that spoke of God’s love to me. I imagine that, when I’m doing life – parenting, pulling my hair out, hiding a bowl of chips, or even when I’m doing a secret happy dance – God is smiling at me. He loves my antics, and loves the way He made me.

God has been opening my eyes to His grace and love these last couple of years, and it changes me completely! I am new because of His mercy. God isn’t the distant dictator I once labelled him – He’s my loving father, tender husband, best friend and brother. I can pose any question, (Luke 11:10) request help with anything - even with how to talk to him! (Romans 8:26)

Because I’m getting that He loves me, I can trust God – and that impacts everything!  If I can really believe that God adores me, gets a kick out of me and wants the very best for me … I want to please Him and know Him more. This love and grace drives me to do his will – I’m desperate for it!

Thank you Lord, for initiating our relationship. Thank you for pursuing me and delighting in me. I am overwhelmed! I am moved. Your love is crazy and I don’t think I’ll ever understand it all – I almost crumble with the little understanding I have! Abundance is right! And there’s always more. Amazing. Thank you that you are good and I can trust you completely. Oh! What a relief! What peace and joy. I can hardly think of it without crying! Woo! I love you so much and can’t wait to love you more. Thank you for changing this heart every day, for moving me. Thank you for your tenderness. There aren’t enough words. I can’t wait to be with you forever.

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