What Does God Think About Global Crises?

Confession: I don't claim to know all that God thinks.  
(and we should all be wary of those who do)

"My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the LORD.

"And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.

For just as the heavens are higher than the earth,

so my ways are higher than your ways

and my thoughts higher than your thoughts."

Isaiah 55:8-10

But sometimes I sure wonder what on earth He thinks about the injustices and atrocities that surround  us. Evil seems to grow powerful and pervasive, and sometimes it makes me desperate and cry out,

God! What do YOU think about this!?

And what should I DO?!

Recently I have been learning about the various industries and their powerful influence over nations and the world as a whole. One evening, after watching a documentary (Blue Gold: World Water Wars) I became especially bothered by the injustice of powerful industry essentially exploiting and killing the poorest of the poor - the 'least of these', and profiting greatly from their oppression.

I could think of little else. I washed dishes and shook my head. I cleared the table, wondering what God is up to. I tucked in the children, wondering what my responsibility is in such a huge problem.

The next morning I opened the Word to continue reading in Psalms. "Lord, help me know what to do" I pleaded, and then began to read Psalm 37.

Know what the first words were that I read that morning?

"Don't worry about the wicked

or envy those who do wrong."

Lips parted in surprise. I was about to hear from Him on the subject. 

"Be still in the presence of the LORD

and wait patiently for Him to act.

Don't worry about evil people who prosper

or fret about their wicked schemes."

His Word is so alive and active, isn't it?  At this point, I found myself secretly saying something like, "Yeah but... yeah but... what do I DO?? Just sit here and trust you and do not act? Doesn't that make me a culprit too?"

And He repeats about twelve times in different ways, "Trust me".
The stanzas echo in deafening volume the promise given to God's people in Deuteronomy 32:34

"I will take revenge; I will pay them back.

In due time their feet will slip.

their day of disaster will arrive,

and their destiny will overtake them.'

(Side note: You may point out that this passage speaks of the punishment that befalls God's own people when they turn away from Him. But God also addresses His justice on His enemies at the end of the song:)

"For He will avenge the blood of His servants;

He will take revenge against His enemies.

He will repay those who hate him

and cleanse the land for His people." 

What God thinks of those who oppress the poor and steal and murder and profit from their misdeeds is clear. He will not tolerate it forever.

In the meantime, He uses these injustices (and I do not presume this to be the only reason!) to purify His bride. It's funny - Christians are widely trained to believe that Jesus came to bring peace and comfort and heaven on earth. And we work feverishly to insulate ourselves from trouble, and complain when hardship dares to afflict us. US! The children of a Holy God! Gasp!
Yet Jesus never EVER said we will live in utopia until He comes. Quite the opposite. 

"Do you think I have come to bring peace to earth? 

No, I have come to divide people against each other!" 

Luke 12:51

(How does that sit with your picture of Jesus by the way?) 
Why does He say this? Brother Lawrence understood well that one must trust God in all things. He knew "God could remedy any mischief, although sometimes He permitted evil for reasons very true and useful in the order of His Providence." (p.18, The Practice of the Presence of God)

And I see the benefit of suffering in my own life too. Repeatedly. 
Even now, as I am torn over evil done to others near and far, the Lord challenges me to trust Him: rely on Him and wait patiently for Him to act. This is difficult. It feels lazy and even wrong to just sit and pray.

But this is the working out of salvation; trusting Him beyond understanding. Belief.

"Jesus told them, "This is the only work God wants from you: 

Believe in the One He has sent."

John 6:29

Whatever your struggle, I encourage you as the Lord encouraged me: trust Him and wait patiently for Him to act. He is good and able and He. Will. Do it.

At The End of a Season, ‘Look Up’

Having happened in April and posted in July, this moment is perfectly in season for me. This week I'm reminded to choose hope; to believe; to live expectantly.

Beneath wind-shivered maples, I wander slump-shouldered across brown grass. All that remains of the day, the week, is the occasional mumbling of half-sentences. Stopping near the ditch, downcast eyes glimpse the oasis. Edged by a thin line of green, dark water reflects grey clouds. I gaze into the liquid mirror while recounting the day; the week …the year.

Illness and divorce in the family, financial strain and church family upheaval…  And, finally, our children are once again growing into another stage. It’s time to step up my parenting, though I have no clue how. I pull the sweater tight as April air chills. The snow disappeared weeks ago, leaving behind flat brown blades, vacant branches. All seems… grey. I’m old and spent and don’t know how parent my kids anymore. Maybe I’ve used up all my abilities. Perhaps my brain has finally disintegrated in the abyss of no-no’s and diapers and naps. Eyes fixed on the murky mirror, a sigh escapes. “God, help me! I don’t even know what to pray right now!”

And there, beneath bare limbs, it comes; the voiceless words. “Look up”

I raise my eyes, perhaps for the first time today, and there at eye level a bright green bulb peeks from its branch, promising to emerge soon. A smile broadens. I am not abandoned, to be forever surrounded by stark branches and the monochrome of in-between. Spring always follows winter.

I leave the oasis refreshed. By still water, the words of my Father have restored my soul. The end of a season is here, but a new one is birthing – one of vibrant colors, brimming with new life. 

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Prayers Answered ... With Suffering

I close the magazine, unable to read another word about lynchings and tortures meted out to believers across the world. I sip steamy coffee, wondering how long Christian prisoners have been without food and drink. I watch Maple leaves flutter in sunlight. Have those prisoners seen daylight this week? I sip sweet coffee and shed no tears. I imagine Jesus spitting out lukewarm water...   "Lord, forgive me for my indifference. Break my heart for what breaks yours. Stamp eternity in both my eyes...Give me a heart for others." 

For a year or two I've made these pleas. I'm beginning to recognize God's response...

Awareness of Suffering

The more I cry out to have a heart for others, the more darkness I see. Abroad, the faithful are gruesomely tortured and routinely abused or neglected. Here at home, all kinds of sin, illness and spiritual defeat keep many (including me) self-focused, distracted from God's purpose, and defeated.

Our enemy is stronger than all of us. This place wreaks of death, and evil seems to pervade every thing and place. It looks hopeless.

This growing awareness of the evil of this world alerts me to the desperate, immediate need for God. I am increasingly thankful for salvation, the more darkness I see. I am also intensely motivated to share this knowledge - this freedom - with 'whoever has ears'.

The work of God is that this heart is breaking. I am increasingly disturbed by the number of people dying without Christ. This travesty, at times, chokes me with grief.

It seems that joy and sorrow are inseparable somehow - how could we know one without the other? And, it seems, the more sorrow I experience, the deeper joy I may also have. In the poetic words of Khalil Gibran,

"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.

Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?

And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?" 

(see whole piece here) 


I am thankful for and celebrate this grief as evidence of a changing heart - one moving from indifference to passion. God is carving out apathy to make room for His amazing love!

(I just realized this moment, that the joy I can contain as a result is also an answer to my plea to walk in joy...)

The Experience of Suffering


Compared to many, I have not suffered. I don't dismiss the rejection, isolation and slavery to fear that I did experience, but it has not been a life of hardship either. Comforts have always been at my fingertips, and I've never lost a close loved one to death. Life - and faith - have been more-or-less comfortable - until this last year.

Contemplation of some big faith questions began last summer. These bothersome issues bubbled vaguely beyond the reach of conscious thought. ... perhaps because they seemed unanswerable. Then, in fall, things started to fall apart. Each situation swirled in its own stew of frustrations and heartbreak. In this chaos, those ugly questions suddenly demanded answers. (Read about that wrestling here.)

But here's the awesome work God is doing:

- My faith is being / has been tested. I sense a strength rising now as I find my footing in Truth. I'm getting well acquainted with the foundations of my faith - it is built on solid rock. Numerous verses come to mind that make more sense in this storm.  'a house built on solid bedrock....' (Matthew 7:25), 'The Lord is a shelter in times of trouble' (Psalm 9:9) 'when trouble comes your way, consider it... joy' (James 1:2)

- I'm free to love those who wrestle and fall away; for those who ask these difficult questions and conclude that belief in God is foolishness. I've tended to avoid those who don't believe, because I didn't understand how they could choose that. I was also fearful of falling into that same sin. (Gal 6:1)
  Now, standing at the edge of that same choice - wrestling with those same questions - I empathize. I am not afraid. My faith has been shaken and stands because it is built on a solid foundation that no man can shake.   Instead of running away, I'm drawn to them. I'm free to love them because I know I am loved and safe.

- I have more compassion for those who suffer. Without experiencing pain, we tend to judge those who hurt. The poor judge the rich, and the rich look down on the poor. Unless we walk in some different shoes for awhile, we can't empathize. Suddenly I have more of an ear for people who walk the road of cancer, who are discouraged or wrestling with their faith.

-God is glorified - even by my tested faith! As I struggle and work this out, people read, hear and see it happen. They see God's hand in it. Even yesterday I participated in a conversation I could have never had before. Instead of being enraged and indignant that an Atheist would call my God deplorable names, I felt for him. I was free to have a dialogue which was not heated or defensive (though it could easily go there), and I know God used that - for the Atheist and the many who heard the conversation. God will accomplish His will with everything that happens. (Isaiah 55:11) Even - and perhaps especially - our suffering. That is unspeakable joyful!

Today I count this pain as joy. Not because it's fun, but because I'm being shaped in the image of my Heavenly Father. I'm being trained in perhaps the most effective way.

Is God Good?

Often I've imagined the Christian life to look a little like ... someone twirling on top of a hill singing 'The hiiiiillls are aliiiiive... with the sound of muuusic...'


I think not.


To 'love God and love your neighbor as yourself' sounds easy if you say it fast...


But to love others is done in the midst of confusion and pain ... it is not a dance on a hill. Immeasurable by degrees of comfort or even happiness, Godly love is grueling work.


How could it be less? Living God's love is


Believing beyond logic
Serving when I'm tired
Giving when its costly
loving our enemies

Who chooses this?!

'Love God and love others' is especially hard to understand as I perceive more and more the suffering in this dark world. This place is steeped in the kind of evil that skins people alive, buys and sells women and children, and abuses their families behind closed doors. This world is full of poverty illness, starvation, jealousy, pride, heartache and tears.  ... what is there to love?


It is here, in the middle of frustration and heartache I'm paused to decide - do I believe God is good? With all this suffering and evil ... is this a contradiction?


Regarding the necessity of suffering, CS Lewis states (in The Problem of Pain),


"Try to exclude the possibility of suffering which the order of nature and the existence of free-wills involve, and you will find that you have excluded life itself". 


This video illustrates well the issue of suffering and goodness co-existing:

I believe God is good - not just because the Bible tells me so, but because I've seen His hand in my life. I've experienced a small piece of who He is. Yes, God is good when He gives me the blessings I want (kindness), but in my suffering He is also good. 


Examples from my life: 

Rejection served to protect me from things and people that would have dragged me away from God. It also served to soften my heart towards others who are rejected. It also opened my heart to receive God's acceptance. 

Being imprisoned by fear allowed me to see life is fearful when not submitted to the loving hand of my Father. It allowed me to come to Him for comfort - to be freed. It also, again, gave me compassion for those who are slaves to fear.

Christian life is not a dance on a hill. It is training. 

Suffering = training

"But God’s discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness. 

No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be 

a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way."

Hebrews 12:10

I'm beginning to understand James' words: 

"Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow! When your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete needing nothing." 

And, to close I would like to share CS Lewis' insight about how everything under heaven DOES serve God's purpose whether it is through good or evil.

"A merciful man aims at his neighbour's good as so does 'God's' will, consciously co-operating with 'the simple good'. A cruel man oppresses his neighbour and so does simple evil. But in doing such evil he is used by God, without his knowledge or consent, to produce the complex good — so that the first man serves God as a son, and the second as a tool. For you will certainly carry out God's purpose, however you act, but it makes a difference to you whether you serve like Judas or like John"

May I serve as a true disciple, one who is trained for holiness. 

May I view all suffering as an opportunity for God's power to be displayed. 

May I realize my own bent toward evil. 

May I repent and rely always on my Father to forgive me, cleanse me, and train me to live with Him forever.

Thank you Jesus, for loving me so much that you would teach and use me even if it means I must suffer.

Thank you for suffering for and with me. 

I praise your Good name! 

You    Are   Good.

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Would I Fit In at 'The Perfect Church'?

When I imagine 'my ideal church', I see a close-knit group of people. They are familiar with the nitty-gritty details of each others’ lives, and like each other anyway. They share the burdens on their hearts, and are immediately surrounded by a group of people laying on hands and praying. They share, say things like ‘cut the crap’, and confess their sins to each other. They hug and cry and laugh. They celebrate every new addition to their group – especially new believers. They invest time in each other and new believers to build relationships that are centered around Christ, who moves powerfully in and through them. They are known by their love.

They serve the homeless together, and keep each other accountable. They do not care about rules and regulations and programs and contracts so much; they care about Jesus and reaching his people.  They help others, give generously, and are praised for their insane amount of reality and generosity and kindness. They represent Jesus. For real.

Where is that church? Is there such a thing in this town? Province? Nation? It might cross my mind to move if there were…

But would I fit in to a church like that?  No, probably not… I want these things – sharing burdens, approachability, reality, love, generosity, reaching the lost, serving side-by-side… they sound lovely. But do I do them? 

This church I seek is not a place; it is a way of living.

If I want to have it, I’ve got to do it.

Do I pray immediately when someone shares a need?

Do I confess my sins to ‘each other’?

Do I seek out the lost and invest in their life?

Help others? Am I generous?

If I want to have it, I’ve got to do it.

I hereby resolve to…

• call sin sin. It grieves the Spirit, displeases the Father, and poisons my heart and the lives of those around me. Get it OUT! I need to confess my sin, which is impossible when it's covered by excuses.
• take every opportunity to ‘do good to everyone, especially the family of faith’. I will seek out ways to build up, encourage and edify my brothers and sisters.
• pour myself into the lives of the lost or ‘seeking’ in my life. Pray for them, spend time with them, find ways to express love.
• invest myself in the building of God’s kingdom wherever I am

Phew! What a tall order! But this is not something I’ll start tomorrow and finish by Friday. I believe God is gracious and patient enough to teach me until the day I go home. These are not things I'll be or do by pure osmosis ... these are decisions I need to make: one at a time, each day.

Here's to being church - wherever.

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The Next Step of Faith

Last year, I wrestled with some big questions about God – things that seem contradictory in the Bible, or are just impossible to understand. I shared this struggle with a friend whose response was, “Welcome to the next step in your faith walk”. I was excited by apparent spiritual growth, but still didn’t know … anything.

Recently, I found myself still struggling with these same questions … maybe a few new ones. Here are some examples of what I mean:

• The Bible says ‘nothing can separate us from God’s love’ (Romans 8:38), but… the existence of hell IS the separation of us from God’s love so… what’s that about?
• The Bible says the ‘old way of the law led to death’ (2 Cor 3:7), and that we are ‘free from these laws’ (Gal 3:12), but James says to ‘look carefully into God’s perfect law that sets us free and do what it says.’ … so, which is it? What applies and what doesn't? Says who? Does it all apply? None? Yet, if I try to figure it out, I’m ‘wasting time’ (Titus 3:9)
• Can I have assurance of salvation? Can I lose salvation? How do I know? Afterall, many will cry ‘Lord, Lord!’ - even those who did great things in His name! - and he will say, “I do not know you. Get away from me, you who break God’s laws.” (Matt 7:21-23)

Exasperated, I lamented to a friend, “If this is the ‘next step’, would someone just shine a light on it already so I can move?! I'm grappling with the same old questions I had months ago!!”

“Maybe..” she offered gently, “this is the part of faith that believes without understanding…”

I must say, I didn’t like that answer. I want to know why things are the way they are.

Days later, as I was driving, I silently wrestled with these questions. I really wanted to understand. Then, the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart, ‘Do you need to understand to believe?’

To believe without understanding would require trusting God based on who He is, not on what I know. It would require humility and submission, not reasoning or logic.

Wait – you mean, I just have to accept it? But what does IT mean?!

How do I know if I’m doing it right?

How do I know if I’m in His will?

Hmm… this comes down to trust, doesn’t it?

Trusting that God will grant me wisdom and understanding as it’s needed.

Trusting that He will lead me in paths of righteousness, not paths of confusion and sin.

Trusting that He is the one who will protect my salvation, not me. He will keep and protect me. He is good and can be trusted.

Ooooh… uncharted territory…

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Dental Moment.

Maybe it was the terror that sitting in a dentist chair sends through my body, maybe it was the emotion of knowing that relief was finally on its way for my terrible toothache that would, at times, consume my every thought and leave me holding my face praying for silence, dark and healing.  Maybe it was the gentleness and grace of the kindly dentist.

Whatever it was, I sniveled and goobered all over his office like a child. With eyes sufficiently puffy, and a red nose to rival Rudolf, I sheepishly made my way down the hall to the washroom to clean up so as not to frighten children who may be in the waiting room…

He had explained that some tooth infections heal themselves. My pain had ‘only lasted for a month.’ I had several options: “Pain killers while we wait to see if it heals …”

He can’t seriously expect this pain to be continue?! I interrupted, “Really?”

“Why do you doubt me?” He asked gently. He’d never given me any evidence that he’s a liar or even one to exaggerate. He could have been angry – I’d interrupted, had come with an agenda (which means I wasn’t listening to his options), and I’m a lay-person. What do I know about dentistry anyway? But he did not take the opportunity to be proud, offended, self righteous or indignant. Instead, he calmly and gently explained – again - what my options were.

I had come in terrified, but there was no reason to be afraid.

I had come in with pain, but healing was on its way.

I had come in afraid of the pain I’d feel, but I was already in pain. The pain I would experience, if any, would now be the kind that leads to healing. It reminded me of Hebrews 12:10 “The lord disciplines those he loves. But no discipline is fun while it’s happening, it is painful! But afterward, there will be a harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.”  My dental version went something like, ‘No dental work is fun while it’s happening, it is painful! But afterward, there will be a harvest of healthy teeth for those who are helped in this way.”

In other words, no pain, no gain baby.

As he removed the last of the tools and objects from my mouth, he said “Okay, you can unclench your fists now.” I slowly unclenched them. My eyes remained pinched shut as I tried not to cry. “Don’t be so hard on yourself”. Tears flowed. Tears of relief and gratitude; tears of conviction...

This man had been so gracious to me; the way I ought to be. Even when my children have irrational fears, views, expectations, and are emotional … they still need grace and mercy just like I do.

I’m deeply moved by his gentleness and grace – and he’s a sinful man. What must God’s grace and gentleness be like? 

What Does It Look Like to Live Love?

What does it look like to live a life of love - to live so God's presence and glory are evident in my heart? 

It could take an eternity to discover the complete answer to that question, but here's some of what scripture says about it.

Care about the rights of the poor.    (Proverbs 29:7)

Take care of widows who don't have anyone else. (1 Timothy 5:3)

Give according to what you have (2 Corinthians 8:12)

Do to others what you would have them do to you 

Give to anyone who asks

Love your enemies; do good to those who hate you (Luke 6:27-35)

Help the poor (Proverbs 14:31)

Share each others burdens (Galatians 6:2)

Feed my sheep (John 21:17) 

... It's the last one that got me the most, because it was spoken to my heart this week. 

I've asked countless times, "Lord, what should I DO?!?" This time I hesitated to ask, afraid of His answer.  I thought I'd been sincere until now, but this time I earnestly wanted to do anything He asked.  Through tears and with trembling, I asked again.  

'Feed my sheep' 

I knew that neither my flesh nor the Enemy would give me such an instruction.

I also knew that God is intimately acquainted with all my weakness and faults and inability, so didn't argue. (for once)

"Who are your sheep Lord?"

'Believers scattered abroad' (James 1:1)

'How?' 

I felt as though the time for that answer was not now, but would come in His time. 

Then this morning I read John 21:17, 

"A third time he asked him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”
   Peter was hurt that Jesus asked the question a third time. He said, “Lord, you know everything. You know that I love you.”
   Jesus said, “Then feed my sheep.""

and Ezekial 34:1-10

"Then this message came to me from the Lord: 2 “Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds, the leaders of Israel. Give them this message from the Sovereign Lord: What sorrow awaits you shepherds who feed yourselves instead of your flocks. Shouldn’t shepherds feed their sheep? ³ You drink the milk, wear the wool, and butcher the best animals, but you let your flocks starve. ⁴ You have not taken care of the weak. You have not tended the sick or bound up the injured. You have not gone looking for those who have wandered away and are lost. Instead, you have ruled them with harshness and cruelty. ⁵ So my sheep have been scattered without a shepherd, and they are easy prey for any wild animal. ⁶ They have wandered through all the mountains and all the hills, across the face of the earth, yet no one has gone to search for them. ⁷ “Therefore, you shepherds, hear the word of the Lord: ⁸ As surely as I live, says the Sovereign Lord, you abandoned my flock and left them to be attacked by every wild animal. And though you were my shepherds, you didn’t search for my sheep when they were lost. You took care of yourselves and left the sheep to starve. ⁹Therefore, you shepherds, hear the word of the Lord. ¹⁰ This is what the Sovereign Lord says: I now consider these shepherds my enemies, and I will hold them responsible for what has happened to my flock. I will take away their right to feed the flock, and I will stop them from feeding themselves. I will rescue my flock from their mouths; the sheep will no longer be their prey."

I'm not sure what it all means, but I believe it's all connected. I believe it's also of great and eternal importance to obey God without hesitation. (I also believe that each of these instructions applies globally and locally; not one rather than the other, but both.)

Lord, thank you for speaking to my heart. Please make clear to me who, when and what to feed. ... and how. Please have patience with me. I don't want to become a fat sheep at the expense of the scrawny. Forgive me for my selfishness and greed. Help me to give and love others the way you would - the way you do. Teach me how to feed others and to deny myself for their sake. Give me a heart overflowing with your love. Thank you Jesus, that you love your sheep and search for them where they've scattered. 

Lord, I'm afraid - of the pain of separation from worldly desires. I'm not excited about it and resist it. But you say it is better to lose one part of my body than for the whole thing to be thrown into hell. Lord, I would rather suffer the pain of your training than the pain of your judgment, but I'm scared anyway. Your love is perfect, and I trust you. I will obey. 

The Mercy of Trials

I don't recall being thankful for betrayal, rejection or physical pain while it was going on. Years later though - and sometimes it took decades - I could see the good that came from it. Friendships that didn't work, even 2 years of cracked, bleeding fingers - He used it to draw me to Him. Amazing.


Now I can see those trials as blessings - useful even in new sufferings.


Now, as I walk through a different set of trials, I have this history of His mercy to look back on. It didn't look or feel like mercy or kindness at the time - more like abandonment or punishment. Now I see - it was Love. 


Thank you Jesus, for using the trials of this life to draw me to you
 to 'remind this heart that this is not my  home'
Thank you Jesus, for healing that comes through tears.






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Love In Action

"... let's not merely say that we love each other; 

let us show the truth by our actions."

1 John 3:18

As I teach my kids to be thankful for all God provides, it naturally comes up that others do not have the same things we do. Clean water ... food every day ... a warm bed to sleep in... not everyone has that, and we are thankful we do.

But it doesn't stop there. 

One day, as I explained that we can help others, one of my kids (who is particularly sensitive to spiritual matters) said, "I want to help now"  He pushed  me to discover how we can work to help NOW. 

I love that kid... 

So, our 'love in action' looks like this: 

1: We sell our baking to friends and family

2: With those funds, we buy groceries to give to the local food bank

My son inspects their creation

Ideally, we would then be able to help in that food bank. Looks so far like that won't be a possibility, but we can tour the facility - maybe even on a distribution day - so these young ones can get a better understanding of how they can make a difference and how we can help each other. 


... so if you are close friend or family reading this, you may get a visit with our order form in the next week or two ... (and if we miss you but you'd like to contribute, let me know!) 


I'm excited to share more with you as we bake like crazy, and live love.

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Defying Soul Gravity - Part Two

Okay... I couldn't wait until tomorrow. Here's 'tomorrow's' post:


I shared yesterday how God spoke to my heart about doing 'good works'. Here's the rest best of the story:

Considering where to shine the blazing light of Christ, I began to stumble. Between earthquakes and mass starvation, child abuse, international sex trading and even local homelessness, the darkness is no match for my one little light. Gravity quickly gripped and dragged me back into gloom … and inaction.

This morning, I have the house to myself. I nestle into a camping chair outside in the fog, clutching my mug of hot coffee and spend this time with God. Birds trill and twitter, a misty rain gently touches ditch water… and then it happens; that glorious moment when God shows me something.

He draws my attention the old Willows, some leaning precariously toward the ground, others reaching for the sky. The trunks that bend toward the ground provide cover for birds, amusement for climbing, and a great place for a tire swing … for now. As gravity continues to pull on it though, it will eventually fall down.

The trunks that grow straight, seeming to reach toward heaven, are strong now and will remain strong. Gravity will not win these trees as long as they point skyward.

Then, as He does, He brought scripture to mind.

“…Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength!”

Nehemiah 8:10

If I'm bent toward thoughts of this world’s misery, it pulls and weighs.  If I ‘fix my thoughts on what is good’ though, (Phil 4:8) remembering what God has done, I will be filled with praise and joy – and will be strengthened.

You thrill me, Lord, with all you have done for me!

I sing for joy because of what you have done.

Psalm 92:4

I love that – ‘you THRILL me Lord’? Wow. I want that. I don’t want to wonder anymore if I’m allowed to be joyful in a world full of pain. I want to be thrilled in the presence of my God! He is great. He is good, and He wins.

Let the joy of the Lord be my strength!

Defying Soul Gravity - Part One

Cruising down the highway, I silently ask God about the boredom and discouragement that has weighed on me for weeks. Nothing in life seems desirable or interesting. I feel trapped in numbness, but want to scream – for freedom maybe. ‘What is it God? What?!’  Suddenly, seemingly unrelated scripture pops into my head. ‘Faith without works is dead’. (James 2:26)  ‘Uh… okay… so my faith is suffocating?’  

Oddly, and perhaps this is from my Mennonite background, my knee-jerk response is to instantly defend inaction as though to ‘do good works’ were prideful or unnecessary. Weird! It’s biblical; necessary, obedient, and a natural outflow of gratitude and love.

“Tell them to use their money to do good. They should be rich in good works and generous to those in need, always being ready to share with others.”

1 Timothy 6:18

I agree with God that there is good for me to do, and suddenly feel a sense of meaning and purpose – freedom from the relentless unfeeling that had gripped me. ‘God can use me! Thank you Lord! …now what do you have for me to do?’


Stay tuned for the rest of the story tomorrow... (you'll really like the second part!)

Life and Death (repost)

A repost. (edited)

I pull the covers across my face, hiding from the dark. ‘What was that sound? Did I hear footsteps?’  Branches scratch the window. I peek. A shadow moves and, though alone, I sense… a presence. Trembling, I pray for protection and, after awhile, drift into sleep … and nightmares.

That was my life before Christ. Death lurked around each corner – car crash, choke on a burger, get cancer or hit by random flying debris … at any moment I could die.

Praise God, I’m free of that constant fear.

I do think on death often though. I’m not watching shadows, brooding or wringing my hands, but I don’t know how many days I have, so am I making the best of today? If I would die tomorrow, would I be pleased with how I invested today? The way I spoke to my kids and husband? The way I thought, prayed, acted?

Did I waste today?

Sound depressed or pessimistic? I hope not. I hope you see focus, motivation and purpose – that’s exactly what happens when I think about life, death and eternity.  Maybe that’s why Ecclesiastes says “A wise man thinks about death, but a fool only thinks about pleasure.”

To Think About Death Does a Few Things:

·   Humbles me – I can not continue to believe and act as though it’s all about me when it’s clear that I control neither my beginning nor end.

·   Aligns Priorities – If I die next week, what would quickly disappear from my list of things to do? Suddenly my time, words and energy begin to align with God’s priorities.

·   Eternity-Minded - My actions and choices have eternal impact. Suddenly everyone is an eternal being, not just an ‘annoying neighbor’ or a relative to ‘put up with’. Everyone walks toward eternity daily. Do I help or hinder their progress toward Jesus?

·   Motivates – If this is my last week with my children; what would I want them to know? I want to help guide them into an eternity with Jesus! I don’t know about you, but it sure lights a fire under me to do all I can right now!

No, I don’t get it right every day or even every week. I waste time and squirm from responsibility with the best of them. The more we seek God though, the more we live for Him.

“Break my heart for what breaks yours. All that I am for your kingdom’s cause As I walk this earth into Eternity.*” – Amen!

Some Helpful Verses:

“The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning,
       but the heart of fools is in the house of pleasure.”

Ecclesiastes 7:4 (NIV)

“It is better to go to a house of mourning 
than to go to a house of feasting,
       for death is the destiny of every man; 
the living should take this to heart.”

Ecclesiastes 7:2 (NIV)

“Rescue those being led away to death; 
hold back those staggering toward slaughter.”

Proverbs 24:11 (NIV)

* Lyrics from ‘Hosanna’ by Hillsong

You can also read this in the Sanctified Together online publication

From Worry to Peace in 3 Simple Steps

Planning a huge fundraising event was scaring me – especially since I would be on stage … you know – talking and stuff. Eek. Then I found out that someone I care about was about to become homeless. And then came the cancer call.  It’s a lot to deal with. … to worry about… to be immobilized by.

In this storm, I thank God for giving me the verse He did:

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace,

which exceeds anything we can understand.

His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 4:6,7

As I follow the prescription of this verse, the truth of it is revealed. It really is a step-by-step guide from worry to peace:

1.              Decide To Talk To God About It.

a.     It’s so easy to get carried away in thoughts, imagining what horrors await me in the future. It’s also easy to pretend it all doesn’t exist. Either way, I’m not talking to God when I worry. Just to decide to talk to Him is a huge start.

2.              Tell Him What You Need.

a.     Even if our conversation looks mostly like me shaking my head and saying “I don’t know. I just don’t know”, we’re talking. Before I know it, I’m spilling my heart to Him – how I feel, what I fear and hope for… everything.

3.              Thank Him For All He Has Done

a.     Ah, the key: shift in focus. As I take my eyes off of trouble and fix them on Him, I’m reminded that He is faithful and good and will continue to be. As I thank Him (praise) I am lifted up out of fear and despair. I can see light. (yet another thing to be thankful for!)

Then, as promised, peace comes. On a particularly ‘heavy’ day, the peace may only last a half hour before worry takes hold again. I may need to repeat it again and again … but it works. My focus is taken off of public speaking and cancer, and placed where it belongs. Ah … peace. And it’s not just for me: walking in peace lifts me up, and remobilizes me to reach out to others. I’m not much help as a discouraged lump, whimpering on the couch. But in the strength of peace I can encourage and build up others – just like I love to do. Woo! Thank you Lord!