From Worry to Peace in 3 Simple Steps

Planning a huge fundraising event was scaring me – especially since I would be on stage … you know – talking and stuff. Eek. Then I found out that someone I care about was about to become homeless. And then came the cancer call.  It’s a lot to deal with. … to worry about… to be immobilized by.

In this storm, I thank God for giving me the verse He did:

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace,

which exceeds anything we can understand.

His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 4:6,7

As I follow the prescription of this verse, the truth of it is revealed. It really is a step-by-step guide from worry to peace:

1.              Decide To Talk To God About It.

a.     It’s so easy to get carried away in thoughts, imagining what horrors await me in the future. It’s also easy to pretend it all doesn’t exist. Either way, I’m not talking to God when I worry. Just to decide to talk to Him is a huge start.

2.              Tell Him What You Need.

a.     Even if our conversation looks mostly like me shaking my head and saying “I don’t know. I just don’t know”, we’re talking. Before I know it, I’m spilling my heart to Him – how I feel, what I fear and hope for… everything.

3.              Thank Him For All He Has Done

a.     Ah, the key: shift in focus. As I take my eyes off of trouble and fix them on Him, I’m reminded that He is faithful and good and will continue to be. As I thank Him (praise) I am lifted up out of fear and despair. I can see light. (yet another thing to be thankful for!)

Then, as promised, peace comes. On a particularly ‘heavy’ day, the peace may only last a half hour before worry takes hold again. I may need to repeat it again and again … but it works. My focus is taken off of public speaking and cancer, and placed where it belongs. Ah … peace. And it’s not just for me: walking in peace lifts me up, and remobilizes me to reach out to others. I’m not much help as a discouraged lump, whimpering on the couch. But in the strength of peace I can encourage and build up others – just like I love to do. Woo! Thank you Lord! 

Six Ways to Fight Fair With Your Mate

Maybe you’re no stranger to the yelling or name calling that can accompany marital battles. Perhaps you vividly recall lying awake in the night as shouts thundered through the house. Maybe you remember wondering how two people could hurl verbal daggers and still say “I love you”.  

Years later, your own tongue has become instinctively poised to launch poisonous arrows at your spouse. Words pierce him before you realize you’re arguing. He fires back, and verbal war rages until the final slam of a door.

Maybe yours is a perfect picture of marriage, without any disagreements or ruffled feathers. But, as one father put it, “If a couple isn’t arguing, then somebody’s not thinking.” Marital battles are inevitable. Agreeing on some rules of engagement though, can make the difference between massive casualties, and a quickly signed peace treaty. Here are a few that have worked for us:

Six Rules of Engagement

1. Seal Off The Exits

Ban the word ‘divorce’ from your home. "Watch your words, for they become actions..." (Thomas Krause) The more  familiar or comfortable the concept becomes, the more it becomes a viable exit strategy. Seal off the exits.

2. No Name

Name-calling is the heavy artillery of verbal war. Agree to a name-calling truce, making it permanently off limits.

3. Gentle Word

It’s impossible to argue with someone who won’t argue back.  The proverb is true; ‘A gentle word turns away wrath’. My abrasive words have been stopped dead in their tracks by the gentleness of another. This unassuming, understated defence is one of the great secret weapons of verbal battle. (and one I hope to master…)

4. Time out

Sometimes at the height of battle, retreat is necessary. When venomous words threaten to launch from your lips, walk away to reset your mind and mouth.

5. Journal

A notebook or computer provides an excellent place to launch arrows at a practice target. Afterward, pick through the emotional debris to discover the real underlying issue.

6. Golden Rule

Put yourself in his armour. How would you hope to be treated? This empathy exercise has deterred many would-be battles.

These rules of engagement also extend beyond marriage into parenting, friendship and any relationship where battles can erupt. We may not be able to avoid conflict, but we can break free of the consequences of war. It seems peace doesn’t just happen, but is acquired.

4 Ways to Feed Kids Faith

Munching on peanut butter toast, my five year old watches me read my Bible. He brushes away a milk mustache and asks, “Mom, can you read the real story about Daniel and the lions’ den?” I briefly weigh which is more important – my own study or his – and flip to the story of Daniel.

As a mom who wrestles with how to feed my kids faith, I want to know how I can lead them into their own faith without ‘forcing it down their throat’. How can I pour God’s word into them without it turning into resentment later? 

As I continue to look for ways to pour God’s word and love into our kids, I find a need to stop and consider what we are already doing.

1.     Pray

It’s important to me that our prayers do not become mantras, but are real-time and applicable; about things the kids care about too. ‘Thank you Jesus, for food every day and warm beds to sleep in. Thank you that we could swing from the chandelier today – that was really fun!”

At bedtime, I pray with each child, then for them. I thank God for making them special, that he has a plan for them, and then list specific things I’m thankful about. Ie) ‘Thank you, Lord, for making our son so handsome, strong, helpful, kind, funny….’ My son smiles as he overhears me talking to God about him. Love it.

2.     Read Bible stories

They may have been introduced to these stories through Sunday School or Veggie Tales. Wherever it was, my kids now love to hear about Daniel and the Lions’ Den, Samson, Jonah and the Big Fish, Shadrach Meshach and Abednego. Sometimes we read from kids’ books, usually right out of the Bible. (Usually during my own Bible study time -they always want to do what we’re doing, eh?)

3.     Church Stuff

Attending and serving in Sunday school, church, Mom’s groups and Bible studies provide a sense of community. It shows our kids what it means to be part of a faith family.

4.     Live It 

They see and hear me living my faith. As they watch me struggle, celebrate, sing, dance, cry, pray, help, serve ... it becomes real life for them too. They see my passion for Jesus and become interested.

I let them hear me pray, talk with others about God and faith, and they hear how I speak to and about others… and them.

Their choice between faith or resentment will likely be made based on how real my own faith is. 

  

I have no long term results to point to, but so far this 3 and 4 year old have a history of requesting Bible stories, initiating conversations about how great God is. They’re excited about Sunday school, and are familiar with God’s presence in our family. One morning my son crawled into bed with me and said, “Mom, do you know that God is powerful? He is so mighty.” 

I can’t give my children faith – that is between them and God. But I can pour God’s word into them and deliberately model my faith for them. And I can pray – that they’ll be receptive, strong in faith, and love Jesus with all their hearts. The rest is in God’s capable hands.

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